Still Thinkin'

One Life To Live …

In life, women, Work on August 14, 2011 at 6:29 pm

Experience life. I don’t know when this actually becomes a fear. Almost like a pandemic.

I guess, if you really think about it, we are programmed since young to always color within the lines and, even, at times given a color chart to make sure that the picture comes out just as expected. We live. We grow. We learn. We work. We … exist. But, when does that pivotal moment occur?, that moment that causes you to want to risk everything. To journey out and start experiencing life, experiencing you?

I have been fortunate enough to travel quite a bit. Anytime some one hears this, their immediate assumption is that I am rich. To any of my close friends, this is quite an entertaining joke. Known for my lack there-of in crazy pursuit of happiness, I am no “baller”. I am simply scared of the future. Scared of looking back one day and realizing that I never attempted to do whatever truly makes me happy. Maybe that’s what drew me to Evita “Evie” Robinson.

When I initially watched Evie’s videos on her blog site http://nomadnesstv.com/ which focuses on her life and adventures around the world, I was not drawn in because of the places that she was showcasing but rather what she trying to represent: People that look like me/her traveling and experiencing the world. It is not impossible.

She was a genuine, unique and most importantly bold. During a conversation with her I asked what makes you so courageous to travel rugged lands alone and even more-so as a young female. Her immediate response was “Being courageous doesn’t mean you don’t have fear.” What a beautiful thought, she continued with what she refers to as ‘Analysis Paralysis’. In other words, we as humans, in general, have a tendency to over think situations and destroy opportunities with our own rational and worries, creating the ‘paralysis’ that stagnates us from living.

“When you just start going out and doing …. Life will literally create a path to make that happen,” says Evie. Some may think her approach is too haphazard but once you have taken a closer look you will find that her focus is just different. Her priorities do not lay with new fashion, life’s luxuries, or fine dining. Keeping a humble living she saves to afford these trips that culture and enrich her as a person.

I have spoken to many of my friends about their fear of traveling and in general their responses went something like this: I don’t speak any other language, I don’t have the money for that, I don’t have time for that, or my personal favorite “after watching hostel I am scared of staying in those”.

People you don’t need to speak another language to travel most places; most of communication is non-verbal so in that sentiment alone one should feel more at ease. Based on her own travels Evita has her own way of dealing with culture barriers “They don’t speak your language and they don’t look like you, you literally become reduced to symbols. I learn to say thank you, I’m sorry, hello, good bye … that and a smile will take you a long way”. In my own international experiences, paradoxically, I have found that people are often eager to practice whatever bit of English they may happen to know. So I implore folks do not to let language become a validation for not traveling. As far as time and money are concerned those are broken down by desire and priority. You make money and time for what you deem is important. No excuses.

Lets break it down like this … you spend about 6-8 hours sleeping per day. You spend an additional 4 – 6 hours doing things like watching tv, showering, and wasting time on the internet. You are now left with 12 hours per day to experience life. I believe that Evita said it best in her closing as her college graduation commencement speaker: “Excuse me but your life is waiting” …… So I ask you now, What are you going to do with it?

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Boy Ain’t Nobody Jealous …

In life, Relationships, Roles on April 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

“Boy ain’t nobody jealous” … Yes I realize that’s a double negative but that’s exactly how I felt at that moment. That “moment” was in fact 3 years ago, during a conversation with my ex. He had recently befriended or rather been befriended by a new slew of females that in all honesty did not bother me at all. I only became bothered when I felt disrespect and because I felt this way he got confused and thought I was jealous. I had to correct him, however, because what followed that statement above was: “Boy, ain’t nobody jealous. I’m just territorial”

Jealousy in my eyes is when you believe someone else has something that you do not and that they could, in fact, possibly replace you. This was not my case. As a territorial being I just have one philosophy “stay in your place” and in doing so respecting me and my relationship.

While I dated this guy, I was in college, we lived in a dorm together and everyone knew we were always in each others room. Everyone “except”, somehow, for these girls who would do things like call late at night inviting him over for ice-cream, or come by to visit and basically lay across his bed when there was clearly a chair in his room. One girl even sat in his room after I came in his room at 11:30pm and continued to sit there as we both were getting ready to get in his bed and watch a movie. I wanted to scowl at her “umm don’t you have any other place to go” but I felt that it was not my place to check this behavior it was HIS. On another occasion I called to speak with him and after we hung up the female he was with said “this is my time now, Sasha’s time is over”. He thought it was funny. Most likely because he enjoyed the attention, but it was no joke to me.

Friendships with the opposite sex can co-exist during a relationship because of Darwin’s theory. Survival of the fittest: We all have roles and we all survive through nature and understanding. Even some of the most criminal forms of people understand respecting another’s territory as a way of ensuring that they wont be attacked. I feel the same plays into relationships with the opposite sex. If I have a boyfriend, of course I am going to still have male friends but I would not allow my ‘friends’ to ever disrespect ‘certain boundaries’ and in addition they should already know what behavior is NOT okay. In other words, calling my then boyfriend over at 12am, on a week night, for late night ice-cream = not okay and in accordance to Darwin I should attack her a**. lol. I didn’t though! I am way more strategic than that. My point in stating that was to provide an example of me being territorial and not jealous.

At the end of the day it is about respect to me. As long as you respect me and my relationship or vice versa then its alllll Good 😉 but over step your boundaries and …………….. (well lets not go there lol)

Who, What, Where, When and Why ???

In life on March 24, 2011 at 3:13 pm

So its’ been a while …and bbbooooyyyyy have I missed you guys. I was busy doing tons of freelance work these past 2 weeks… which is great but, Gosh its hard being a ‘starving artist’. Anyway, as such, I have the luxury of functioning for the most part, on my own schedule and with that time I tend to discover really cools things. I often have friends, ask me for book suggestions, website suggestions, blogs, cool places, etc …. so I thought I would dedicate this post to a few things that I enjoy.

WHO:
Little Dragon … This group ROCKS! …. They were like me and many of my close friends: Old buddies. Having known each other since high school they all attempted to have individual musical careers but ultimately have been finding success with each other. I would describe their sound as ….. a trance like-electronic-funk- soul experience! When I first heard their music I guessed that I was listening to a cool black under ground chick who probably wore thrift clothes before they were in style. Turns out though that I was wrong!!! the leader singer is a gorgeous Swedish-Japanese singer named Yukimi Nagano. The group isn’t even from America, they rock out from Gothenburg, Sweden but are currently touring Europe. Make sure to check them out: … Take a listen to my current favorite song by them Constant Surprises

WHAT:
SelfControl App.
This app was brought to my attention by a med-school bestie who is currently losing her mind. Well, she was until she found this app. What does it do you ask? It blocks out your favorite procrastination agents … ie facebook, twitter, mediatakeout, myspace (they’re making a comeback), blog sites etc. You set a timer, its blocks the sites you programmed and then there is no going back. So if you told yourself that for 90 minutes you would focus on writing a report, then that is what you would be left to do because you can not hit cancel. So ready, set , focus!!!! . Download app here

WHERE:
SOOOOO if you are a New York native like myself or your new to the scene you should check out one of my FAVORITE places: Bembe
Its free, has no dress code, open every night till 4am, plays international music and is just all around fun. While I love this spot I can’t leave out a few of its’ downsides such as, they’re a cash only spot, it looks like a hole in the wall place from outside, and it is quite small so I guarantee your hair will not look the same on a good night. Regardless of its down points I truly love this spot and on a night with great weather you will most likely find me there. Check it out here

For all my readers who are not in NY here is a virtual ‘WHERE’: No Que Dan Blogs
Ever thought of a really cool idea and wished that you could build or invent or do it but you just never did? Well here is where those ideas all actually brought to life by people all over the world. You will find all sorts of things ranging from games, furniture, art, bikes, shelves, anything you name it. I must tell you guys that the site is not in English but that never stopped me from understanding what was going on. At times you may even find a small english translation and one of my favorite features is that you can actually purchase some of the cool items. So, looking for a cool, unique gift that no one would think of? Well then click here for noquedanblogs.com

WHEN:
First Saturdays at Brooklyn Museum

For those of you who love big cool crowds full of funky fresh people of all ages and ethnicities … This is the place for you. Every first Saturday of the month the Brooklyn Museum opens its’ door for free, inviting you to come and enjoy the new art that is being showcased on the 4th & 5th floors, take part in the art activities and then wrap up your night with a themed dance party in the Museum. It is great Saturday event and also a wonderful way to meet new and cool people. Check it out if you’re in the NYC area on April 2nd

WHY:
Be informed … Watch the news, CNN, or one of my personal favorites BBC … The why to this is pretty simple, this is our world and it’s our duty to know what is going on out there.

Alright guys … this ends my Who, What, Where, When, Why post …. Anyone know anything cool that they think I should check out?