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Archive for the ‘domestication’ Category

She calls me Wife …

In domestication, Uncategorized, women on January 19, 2011 at 5:11 am

For the last year and some change I have been more or less living with a bunch of guys. Now these guys are nor ordinary guys, they are like my brothers. They have in fact redefined what it means to be a man to me. They are known to me, and a couple of others, as the men of 5519. In any case, while they were unknowingly reshaping my imagine of a man, I was unknowingly becoming domesticated by them.

My first long stay with the men of 5519 was right after I graduated from college, that visit lasted approximately 3 weeks. I graduated with a high gpa, a whole lot of friends, and with about 17 more pounds than I came into college with. By my standards I still looked fine but, while living with them, what I thought of as fine now seemed like it needed some fine-tuning.

Hearing the men that I admired speak about the qualities and traits that they admire in a women eventually lead me to the mirror for a hard look. They spoke of a woman who takes care of her self, as in exercising, a woman who has interest and talents that define her, a woman who has a sense of who she is but can acknowledge that there is still growing to do, a woman who can know how to step out of her emotions and evaluate things rationally (or at least admit that she is caught in her feelings) and of course that wife quality “being domesticated”.

Let me expand on that … No! they are not talking about being barefoot in the house, only cooking and cleaning waiting on them hand and foot. Rather, it’s about being their partner in crime but at the core of it all just being their partner. Being able to provide a womanly comfort that only we, woman, know how to do. Being able to cook him food to start his day on a good note or end it on a better one, naturally being tidy and giving a constant sense of calm in the home etc. These little things that just make a person feel a bit more cared for and at ease.

At first I was very “high and mighty” to say the least, refusing the thought of cooking or cleaning for someone. I was so stuck on the concept that in order to be a “Strong Women” I had to lose my “sex” and just be strong never thinking that I could blend these realms and be something so much more. My men of 5519 made me want to care for them though, and in doing that I realized that I like the feeling of providing in the small ways, I like cooking breakfast, I like making dinner, I enjoy being able to share a clean space and put a womans touch on things.

So now, I sit on my best-friend of 12 years, couch I lean over and ask her “Would you like me to cook something?” and her response is “Sure wife” I guess after 23 years I am finally starting to posses those “Wife like” qualities ….

At the end of the day, I say, at least learn how to cook, clean, wash etc if for no one else than do it for yourself.

A year and a half later ….. DRUM ROLL PLEASE……. I am 17 pounds lighter, an artist by my own right, and happily domesticated ;-).

What do you think about “domestication”? Is it still a 1950’s trend or something that needs to be brought back to life during the independent women era?