Still Thinkin'

Posts Tagged ‘Jealousy’

Boy Ain’t Nobody Jealous …

In life, Relationships, Roles on April 3, 2011 at 5:15 pm

“Boy ain’t nobody jealous” … Yes I realize that’s a double negative but that’s exactly how I felt at that moment. That “moment” was in fact 3 years ago, during a conversation with my ex. He had recently befriended or rather been befriended by a new slew of females that in all honesty did not bother me at all. I only became bothered when I felt disrespect and because I felt this way he got confused and thought I was jealous. I had to correct him, however, because what followed that statement above was: “Boy, ain’t nobody jealous. I’m just territorial”

Jealousy in my eyes is when you believe someone else has something that you do not and that they could, in fact, possibly replace you. This was not my case. As a territorial being I just have one philosophy “stay in your place” and in doing so respecting me and my relationship.

While I dated this guy, I was in college, we lived in a dorm together and everyone knew we were always in each others room. Everyone “except”, somehow, for these girls who would do things like call late at night inviting him over for ice-cream, or come by to visit and basically lay across his bed when there was clearly a chair in his room. One girl even sat in his room after I came in his room at 11:30pm and continued to sit there as we both were getting ready to get in his bed and watch a movie. I wanted to scowl at her “umm don’t you have any other place to go” but I felt that it was not my place to check this behavior it was HIS. On another occasion I called to speak with him and after we hung up the female he was with said “this is my time now, Sasha’s time is over”. He thought it was funny. Most likely because he enjoyed the attention, but it was no joke to me.

Friendships with the opposite sex can co-exist during a relationship because of Darwin’s theory. Survival of the fittest: We all have roles and we all survive through nature and understanding. Even some of the most criminal forms of people understand respecting another’s territory as a way of ensuring that they wont be attacked. I feel the same plays into relationships with the opposite sex. If I have a boyfriend, of course I am going to still have male friends but I would not allow my ‘friends’ to ever disrespect ‘certain boundaries’ and in addition they should already know what behavior is NOT okay. In other words, calling my then boyfriend over at 12am, on a week night, for late night ice-cream = not okay and in accordance to Darwin I should attack her a**. lol. I didn’t though! I am way more strategic than that. My point in stating that was to provide an example of me being territorial and not jealous.

At the end of the day it is about respect to me. As long as you respect me and my relationship or vice versa then its alllll Good 😉 but over step your boundaries and …………….. (well lets not go there lol)